Saturday, December 26, 2009

Inside Grandpa's Head

Yep... Christmas is over.. Click back to life on Monday... Okay

My Grandparents Dementia is getting worse by the day. My Aunt is currently living with them but this isn't working. Dementia changes their personalities and anything logical just isn't part of the game any longer. Calm is a staple and needs to be a constant in their lives.

How do you settle a person that insists this isn't their home? They don't care that you tell them "This is your home you have lived here since 1986?" That is like talking Alien to them.

For a bit here I will play my Grandpa's thoughts out that he expresses to us through words

My Name is Bert Long I am 91 years old

Years, What's that???... I am here in the now.

I can't read my morning paper. But, I will go thru the motions and hold that paper everyday in my lap and flip it around. It was something that calmed me, something I enjoyed. The written word no longer is clear to me. No Rhyme or Reason.

I am worried I am going broke. Because I no longer work... Where is my money?? All I have are these Silver Dollars. Why do people go to the store and buy groceries? I have no Money?

My Routines are slipping away from me. Where are all my friends? I live in this dessert alone on a hill and never see anyone.

I have a friend that lives with me. She is a cook and she sleeps all day and all night. But, she doesn't cook for me any longer. I get hungry. I don't know how to make a sandwich... But I can make coffee.... I like my coffee in the morning. It makes me feel a connection.

I sit by myself a lot. I worry that people are stealing my things. People come in my house and take things all the time. This is all I am, all I have.. They are taking my things!

I want to visit with people but they are all gone, all dead. I did have a conversation with my dead sister the other day. Her name is Jan.. She died, I miss her but she visits me.

I once had an affair with a Red-headed Australian woman. Oh she was happiness in my life for a while. She visits me here once in a while... I think I was married to her a few times. She lives in the front bedroom... But now she is gone all she wanted was a light for her room. I miss her.

I have a cat that is old his name is Cooper. He is a good old boy. He comes in our room at night and visits. But then I fall asleep and he shits on the floor. I let him out. I forgot why I let him out so I walked back to bed and drug my foot that I had socks on thru the cat shit and tracked it around my room and went to bed. The next morning I put my feet in my shoes with the cat shit and walked towards the hall and noticed a big pile of cat shit. So I got a Putty knife and tried to scrape it up.. seems I just mashed it into the carpet more. My daughter isn't happy.

My daughter.. I call her "The GaL" I don't always know who she is. My wife is the cook. She sleeps all day. I used to wake her up and ask her to make me breakfast. Now I just don't care. When my wife does get up which is usually in the evening she feeds me wine and chips. I like the wine and so does she. It calms me.

My Wife doesn't like anyone to tell her what to do. She doesn't take her medications. She likes to argue with her daughters and yell at them. I don't understand what is happening there. I don't have any money and we can't afford groceries.

Why does that Gal drive my car.. People come and take my car and use my gas. That makes me mad... I search for keys all day long and then I hide things from people so they can't steal them but I don't know where I put things at.

If have decided the person that takes everything is my grandson Richie.... He takes my belts, my shoes, my pants. Did you know you don't have to change your clothes, but maybe once every couple weeks cause you don't get them dirty. They last longer this way. I haven't had a bath in months. I don't think I need one. I comb my hair and shave my face and brush my teeth most days. That is good enough.

This is a small portion of grandpa's day I will be back with more later.. It's five am.. I should go back to bed.


Lois Grebowski said...

Yep, unfortunately I think you nailed it. It's sad how the body and mind betrays us in later years.

I'm sorry your family has to deal with this. I'm so hoping we find a way to prevent this...

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

honey this is so sad and i am so sorry y'all are having to go through this, i think it is harder for the family than the person sometimes. but it must be so hard on both.

big giant hugs, bee

Anonymous said...

This is one of the most sad and drawn out illnesses A elderly person could go threw,,,Sad but true my grandma had Dememtia & Alhiemers. Sad to watch and be helpless...I love her so much (she was 76 when she passes) and for the caregiver' what Angels they are.
Stay strong Callie, and you are wonderful writer...I think you hit it right on the nose.

Callie Ann said...

Thanks for the support, Lois, Bee and Kim.. It means a lot.. There is no solution to this problem it just is and I appreciate your comments.. This blog helps me get these feelings out.. and the internet helps me see a little clearer into this terrible disease.

Sandy B said...

Dick's dear, smart aunt had dementia, and it was so sad watching her go downhill. It isn't a pretty picture, but you learn to deal with it. Good luck, honey...