Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Gramps still kicking, Alzheimer's a disease from Hell

Well Grandpa hasn't ate nor drank since last Friday, this is Tuesday night... He looks emaciated... his muscles are contracting and cramping up. You can just sit there and watch it. What a horrid way to die... Hospice has us give him Adavan to help with the muscle cramps and Morphine for the pain. Alzheimer is a wicked disease.. I have no clue as to how this experience is effecting me. I sort of just feel numb about it all. I have little break downs and then trudge on.

 Grandma can't figure out why in the world his mouth stays open. She said it puzzles her. She is just staring at him and then she gets up walks over and tries to close his mouth, but it keeps opening. This is very hard on her. She has the same disease.  She told me she just wants to die in her sleep along side Grandpa. Don't see that statement happening since the old Kevorkian way was snuffed out. She was accepted by Hospice this week. Which is a nice thing so she can go in her own time and be with loved ones.  She has her daughters with her, but keeps asking about her other daughter Pat. She says she needs to call her. They have grandma on a mood stabilizer which has made her so sweet the last few months.. Before she was always mad and depressed. Today she drank 2 whole pots of Coffee... What a crazy thing to watch. She says she ain't hungry but will eat the Medifast Bars I give her. That makes me glad because she needs nutrition and it helps with her diabetes.

The Weather Man says it is cold here tonight.. Gonna Freeze!! I just want it to warm up so I can go swimming... Went for a drive today with my Aunt... I just decided we needed a tawanda adventure it was funny not knowing where we were going. But I figured the Farm Lands in Illinois ain't all that much different than Oregon.... Just keep making Right turns and you will get there and that is what we did. It was fun :)

My Nephew is living with Everyone here, but he says all this dieing crap is making him crazy!!!! So when school gets out this month he said he will stay with his Mom this summer. Which is cool... I think things are just too heavy for him here right now. I love that Kid.

Taken while laying on the Ground and looking up to the sky in Illinois
Just wanted to let everyone know, I really appreciate all the support from everyone. It does help. Thank You.


Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

callieannbratgirlfriend honey, i am with you in my heart honey.

big giant hugs, bee

JustMeShann said...

I love you girl <3 I know oh so well what you are going through... I am sorry that you have to watch grandpa die so slow as it is the hardest thing to watch, but I am so glad that you are there with your Mom & Grandma to help them and to be apart of the end... My heart aches for you my friend... You and Auntie need to take a few more of those Tawanda trips when you get a chance, they are good for you... I look at that rock that I took every day, it is right outside my back door and I pray for you Grandpa and I see his twinkle in his eye... Hang in there Cal <3

Hug & Love, Shann

Traveling Bells said...

Being the caregiver is one tuff job. Hang in there. Prayers for everyone.

Big hugs, honey...

Amazing Gracie said...

Hi...been thinking about you. Glad you were able to post a little bit. Love that you and your aunt got away for awhile. I think this is one of the toughest jobs anyone can have...
love you